He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.   Isaiah 40:29-31

Easter is probably my favorite holiday.  The weather gets warmer, flowers bloom, especially the azaleas and dogwoods.  Outdoor activities provide lots of time to spend with friends.  New life is all around us, reminding us we can have new life too.

Jesus waits patiently for us to invite Him in and receive the new life He offers.  He paid a great price to give us the opportunity to live free from guilt and sin.  Our job only involves saying “yes.” Not until the last ten to fifteen years have I began to understand that Jesus wants to have a relationship with me daily.  He wants to be part of every thought, every decision, every action.  He has a plan for me to continue to grow in my faith and relationship with Him.  He gave His life for me to have this connection — How can I give only lip service one hour a week?

Some Christians have compared this new life in Christ to a butterfly leaving its chrysalis.  Science tells us how necessary it is for the butterfly to struggle in  order to develop the strength needed to fly.  We also have times of struggle in our lives.  Each struggle can make us stronger.  Each struggle strengthens our faith and relationship as we choose Christ.  We must make a conscious choice between defeat or trusting Christ as difficulties face us.

Currently, I am serving in a role which allows me to pray with other women to discern what direction God is leading us.  To be able to work through each situation with patience has developed strength in my faith that I have not known in the past.  Watching God guide us until the path is obvious is exciting.  Perseverance with patience is part of the struggle to see where the next step will be. He reminds me often that the first step in following His guidance is trusting Him to give me new life.  Then as I trust Him daily, He builds a relationship with me.  My choice is how strong will it be?  How much of my life will I trust Him to direct?  How much will I keep and try to accomplish on my own?  Do I trust Him to strengthen me to fly with the eagles?

Lord, you have already given your all for me. Help me live my life in submission to you. Help me to say “yes” to all you ask of me today.  Amen.

It was the summer of 2002 and our first child, Caroline, was a young baby.  I was over-the-moon excited about being a new mother and full of awe at this wonderful creation.  It was a magical time in my life as I embraced my new role as ‘mommy’, but there were also times when I felt overwhelmed with the new responsibilities and discouraged.  I sometimes stumbled through the days and nights, sleep-deprived and exhausted.

Then Mike’s younger brother, Joey, passed away unexpectedly and it was almost more than I could bear.  The grief and sadness in my heart seemed to multiply in the stillness of the night.  I remember long dark nights of rocking and nursing Caroline while tears streamed down my cheeks…my spirit wilted.

I struggled to both mourn the loss of Joey and be a happy mother for my child.  Desperately I prayed for strength but secretly wondered if God would answer my prayers or if he was even listening to them!

The mourning process was not a quick one for me but I continued to lean on the Lord and pray over and over for strength, peace and healing in my heart.  As I cared for Caroline and held her in my arms, I could feel God’s love and assurance.  Ever so slowly, my faith and my spirit were renewed.

Dear Lord, thank you for your presence in my heart and in my life, even when I feel broken and discouraged.  You are a God of life and restoration!  Amen.

One of the places I visited on my pilgrimage to the Holy Land was The Garden of Gethsemane.  Because we were only in Israel for 8 days and there was so much to see, we mostly rushed from one holy site to the next.  But Bishop Gwinn intentionally had us linger in Gethsemane.

Before reading this passage from Matthew 26, our tour guide, Pilar, set the stage.  She reminded us that the garden was an active business during Jesus’ day.  It was a place were olive trees were grown and olive oil was produced.  But because it was the Sabbath – when Jesus came to it – the business was closed.  Why does that matter?  It matters because the rest of Jerusalem was loud, chaotic, and bustling with people who had come from all over to the Temple to mark the Passover.  But because of the Sabbath, the garden was quiet and it afforded a place for Jesus to really wrestle and pray.  Upon entering the garden Jesus understood what was about to happen.  He understood what was coming – his arrest, his trial, and his crucifixion.  He wanted – he needed – to pray, to struggle, to plead with The Father.

So the garden offered a place to do just that.  The text says that while Jesus prayed in the garden he became deeply grieved and agitated.  At one point  Jesus even threw himself on the ground and prayed, My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me.  For a moment it appeared that Jesus might want out…at a minimum another way other than the cross.  Some say he prayed so hard that he actually sweated blood.  For sure it was a time of significant and intense prayer.  It was a battle of wills.  Jesus struggled with the choice – my will or God’s will.  But in the end, before he left that garden, he chose God’s way.  He prayed, “Yet not what I want but what you want.  If this cannot pass, your will be done.”

After listening to this passage, Bishop Gwinn sent us off to pray in the very same garden where Jesus prayed among what many scholars and archeologists believe are the very same olive trees that were there when Jesus prayed.  I picked a quiet, private spot down in the corner and began to pray.  As I prayed I entered into a period of self-examination.  Do I pray like Jesus?  Is my prayer life that intense?  How often do I pray – not my will, but yours, O God?  The longer I sat there the more I realized that too often I am a lot more like the disciples.  Yes, the ones who were distracted and kept falling asleep.  What is your prayer life like?

Not just Holy Week, but all of Lent is a call to self-examination.  It is a time to sharpen and reconnect with the disciplines of our faith.  It is a time to remember that life is not about pursuit of one’s own desires, but rather about discovering God’s will for one’s life.  So while we may not all be able to physically go to The Garden of Gethsemane this Lent, I do invite us to journey there in our hearts and to ask ourselves – whose business are we about?  Are we listening for and following God’s will or are we distracted and chasing our own pursuits?

May we learn to pray today and everyday, “O God, not what I want but what you want.”  Amen.

There are times in the lives of each of us when we feel devastated by loss, and each of us must learn how to cope with the grief and despair that accompanies such pain – remembering that God is always there to support and comfort us. Bible study is one of the tools for understanding that love and support. Bible Study Groups, in which people strive to understand God more fully, and to learn how to live as Jesus tried to teach us, are even more effective, because they help us to learn that we are not alone, and to reach out to help others. We are blessed indeed to have God’s Word to study and people with whom to share our faith journeys.  Just as Psalm 91 gave me comfort when I most needed it, I have found other verses to help me as I try to grow in my understanding and following of God’s wishes for us.

Heavenly Father, thank you for your steadfast love and patience with us as we  struggle to understand painful events in our lives. Thank you for the blessings of your Word, and for the lessons that they teach us. Help us to know that we are not alone and that our pain can be relieved by helping others. Help us to become examples of the strength and support you have so graciously bestowed on us.  Amen.

In my nearly 80 years here on this planet, I have seen quite a lot.  I sat in horror on December 7, 1941 listening to the news of the day. (We had just gotten home from church and were preparing for lunch.)  My father was stationed in Manila, in the Philippines, since late summer ’41.  For the next year or so, we, as a family lived with news about the Pacific theater of World War II.  At the age of 10, I knew only that my father was in danger, and I didn’t know what to do. (At 10, you don’t pray out loud, but you do an awful lot silently.)  In retrospect, the Lord was watching over our family, so that we could accept the news that came later. (He was a POW and later died.)  The Lord provided us with the strength to continue, just like we were supposed to.

In later years, the Lord was with me during my time in the US navy; going back to school; and meeting the most beautiful lady in the world and with her help we raised a fine family of four children, and six grandchildren.  In the process we moved to Raleigh, and years later, I (or should I say, we) retired and the Lord took over looking after my health. Through it all the Lord has been my guide and shepherd.  He has seen me through some very major surgery and kept me around to test something else.

I’m not sure what the Lord wants from me, other than my complete love and devotion – which I gladly give.  I am extremely grateful for all that the Lord has provided myself and my family.

I know commencement means “beginning”, but often in my mind my first thought is “ending” – e.g. commencement exercises for graduating students.  I wonder how many commencements we have in a lifetime?

I had my “retirement commencement” last fall.  I ended thirty years of working for the same company where I knew what was expected and began ?????  Oh, dear.  See the dilemma?   What does one do when retired?

I think there may be a limbo period at most commencements.  I moved from a steady schedule to a never before experienced kind of freedom into which I fully expected to be able to accomplish about a thousand things I’d postponed until after I retired.  My husband said I’d have to live to be 250 in order to accomplish all those things I planned for my first month of retirement.

My days have been filled – often to overflowing – but I’m hard pressed to see the accomplishments anticipated.  Seems I’ll start one project only to be pulled in another direction.  I’ve been restless and impatient to know exactly what I’m supposed to be doing and what my purpose is for the remaining years of my life here on earth.  Yet, at the same time, I’ve had a calming tugging on my heart.  It’s as though God is easing me into something bigger and better than I’ve ever known.  It’s not clear what that “something” is, but I believe with His help, I’m going to become better at doing His will.

Easter time reminds me of the best commencement yet to come.  I believe this greatest commencement will have no limbo period.  I believe this commencement will be filled to overflowing with total blessed assurance – no questions asked, nor needed.

Here I am Lord. Is it I Lord? I have heard you calling in the night.  I will go Lord if you lead me. Lord, I believe. Help Thou my unbelief.  Amen.

Jesus points out this fact numerous times throughout His teachings, but particularly in the 6th chapter of Matthew’s gospel.  But of course Jesus, in His infinite love for us, always gives us the solution to any problem He points out.  The solution He gives is humility- a tough one for me personally to put into practice. Matthew 6 though gives us good guidelines for working humility into our lives.

One of the key elements Jesus points out is focus.  If I am seeking to focus  people’s attention on me, then I am not practicing humility.  If I am helping someone so that I “look good” in the eyes of others or to manipulate them to do something for me, then I am like the hypocrites Jesus describes.  A good barometer for me to check my motivations has been For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21) for it reminds me that if my heart is truly focused on love of God instead of love of self, then I will not need the praise or attention from others.  It also helps to keep my ego in check in those situations where I do receive recognition.

In this Lenten season we pay close attention to the ultimate gift of eternal life here and now that God has given us through Jesus by His death and resurrection.  I pray that we all keep that focus throughout every day of our lives, that the praise and recognition be rightfully given to Him who has so richly blessed us.

Dear Heavenly Father, we so often block others from seeing you by wanting them to see us.  Please grant us the perspective of humility as an antidote to the poison of pride, so that your glory, not ours, may be brought upon earth, as it is in Heaven.  Amen.

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Today unlike any other time in history since the great depression, we are seeing people lose their homes, jobs, businesses and sense of self-worth. Almost everyone knows someone who has been diagnosed with a life threatening disease; experienced a divorce; lost a parent, child or spouse; and more recently we all witnessed the massive devastation and loss of life as a   result of the earthquake in Haiti. These challenges tear at the very fabrics of our hearts.

As disciples of Christ, we are not immune to life’s challenges. The good news is that we do not have to face the challenges of life alone.  Jesus promised that he would not leave us comfortless (John 14). He sent His Holy Spirit to lead us and guide us. Whatever we are going through in life, Jesus is there.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Study his word and write his words on the tables of your heart by committing key scriptures to memory. In the mist of despair, recall the scriptures that you committed to memory, and in all things give thanks (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Rest in the comfort that Jesus loves you, and in the knowledge that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

We are not defined by what we have or what we have lost, but rather by to whom we belong. We are heirs and joint heirs with Christ. Romans 8:17

Heavenly father, how wonderful is your love. Thank you for your Holy Spirit and for all of your benefits towards me. Help me, dear Jesus, to lean not to my own understanding, but rather, to trust you in all things, and to be steadfast in your word. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Needless to say, family life with two working parents and two socially active kids is hectic.   My life is full of so many activities – I go from the board room to the play room without changing my dress shoes!  My days are often overscheduled – I know this, but can’t help myself.  I pack so many activities into each day (work, school, errands, church, sports), I wonder what small moments I am missing.  When exactly did my children get so big?  Did I help those who needed it today, or was I too busy to see?  With all the “doing”, am I living my life the way God wants me to?

I am currently taking a three-month sabbatical from my job in an attempt to reclaim my sanity.  Upon learning of my sabbatical, co-workers and friends asked me, “Where are you going?”  My reply? “A quiet room.”

For me, my sabbatical isn’t a vacation, but a time to rest, reflect, and renew.  Like most parents with busy lives full of responsibilities, there is little free time for contemplation.  Recently, I joined a Women’s Bible Study, and our first    order of business each week is to “check-in” with each other by asking “How is it with your soul?  When have you been close to Christ this week?  Where have you denied Christ this week?”  Before my sabbatical, there would have been little time to sit and reflect this way.

During the season of Lent, I hope you will find time to rest and reflect on all God has given you, and for the ways he has made himself known in your life.  It will truly renew your spirit!  In case you are wondering, I haven’t been to that quiet room yet…but I’m going to.

Dear God, create in me a clean heart and put a new and right spirit in me.  Forgive me for the times I am too busy to see the path you want me to take.  Help me slow down and listen to what my heart and soul are trying to tell me.   I offer great thanksgiving for your presence in my life.   In Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

Some time ago I saw a bumper sticker which read “Prayer changes things.”  How true that is!  I recall a time when I faced a very difficult situation, I, as a person, did not know which way to turn or what to do.  That night, as I lay   fitfully tossing and turning in bed, I picked up my phone and asked a friend to pray for me and my circumstances.  She said she would take my request to her prayer group that very evening.  A little later that same evening I suddenly stopped turning.  I instantly felt that a great burden had been lifted from my shoulders and that everything would work out O.K.   The next morning I still had the problem, BUT I also had the spiritual resources and faith that things would be resolved.  Indeed they were!

I also remember a case in England 200 years ago where a famous atheist speaker kept bullyragging a country pastor to debate the existence of God.  The pastor finally agreed, with the following stipulation: “I will show up with 100 people who will each be willing to testify that belief in God and prayer has  materially benefited their lives.  You must in turn bring 100 people who will be willing to testify that being an atheist has benefited their lives.  The pastor and his 100 showed up.  They waited and waited.  The atheist never showed up.

Thank you God, while you may not give me all that I want, you always give me what I need.