Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane; and he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and agitated. Then he said to them, “I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and stay awake with me.” And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want.” Then he came to the disciples and found them sleeping; and he said to Peter, “So, could you not stay awake with me one hour? Stay awake and pray that you may not come into the time of trial; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again he went away for the second time and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” Again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words. Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Get up, let us be going. See, my betrayer is at hand.” Matthew 26:36-46
One of the places I visited on my pilgrimage to the Holy Land was The Garden of Gethsemane. Because we were only in Israel for 8 days and there was so much to see, we mostly rushed from one holy site to the next. But Bishop Gwinn intentionally had us linger in Gethsemane.
Before reading this passage from Matthew 26, our tour guide, Pilar, set the stage. She reminded us that the garden was an active business during Jesus’ day. It was a place were olive trees were grown and olive oil was produced. But because it was the Sabbath – when Jesus came to it – the business was closed. Why does that matter? It matters because the rest of Jerusalem was loud, chaotic, and bustling with people who had come from all over to the Temple to mark the Passover. But because of the Sabbath, the garden was quiet and it afforded a place for Jesus to really wrestle and pray. Upon entering the garden Jesus understood what was about to happen. He understood what was coming – his arrest, his trial, and his crucifixion. He wanted – he needed – to pray, to struggle, to plead with The Father.
So the garden offered a place to do just that. The text says that while Jesus prayed in the garden he became deeply grieved and agitated. At one point Jesus even threw himself on the ground and prayed, My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. For a moment it appeared that Jesus might want out…at a minimum another way other than the cross. Some say he prayed so hard that he actually sweated blood. For sure it was a time of significant and intense prayer. It was a battle of wills. Jesus struggled with the choice – my will or God’s will. But in the end, before he left that garden, he chose God’s way. He prayed, “Yet not what I want but what you want. If this cannot pass, your will be done.”
After listening to this passage, Bishop Gwinn sent us off to pray in the very same garden where Jesus prayed among what many scholars and archeologists believe are the very same olive trees that were there when Jesus prayed. I picked a quiet, private spot down in the corner and began to pray. As I prayed I entered into a period of self-examination. Do I pray like Jesus? Is my prayer life that intense? How often do I pray – not my will, but yours, O God? The longer I sat there the more I realized that too often I am a lot more like the disciples. Yes, the ones who were distracted and kept falling asleep. What is your prayer life like?
Not just Holy Week, but all of Lent is a call to self-examination. It is a time to sharpen and reconnect with the disciplines of our faith. It is a time to remember that life is not about pursuit of one’s own desires, but rather about discovering God’s will for one’s life. So while we may not all be able to physically go to The Garden of Gethsemane this Lent, I do invite us to journey there in our hearts and to ask ourselves – whose business are we about? Are we listening for and following God’s will or are we distracted and chasing our own pursuits?
May we learn to pray today and everyday, “O God, not what I want but what you want.” Amen.
