St. Marks United Methodist Church

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:12

It was the summer of 2002 and our first child, Caroline, was a young baby.  I was over-the-moon excited about being a new mother and full of awe at this wonderful creation.  It was a magical time in my life as I embraced my new role as ‘mommy’, but there were also times when I felt overwhelmed with the new responsibilities and discouraged.  I sometimes stumbled through the days and nights, sleep-deprived and exhausted.

Then Mike’s younger brother, Joey, passed away unexpectedly and it was almost more than I could bear.  The grief and sadness in my heart seemed to multiply in the stillness of the night.  I remember long dark nights of rocking and nursing Caroline while tears streamed down my cheeks…my spirit wilted.

I struggled to both mourn the loss of Joey and be a happy mother for my child.  Desperately I prayed for strength but secretly wondered if God would answer my prayers or if he was even listening to them!

The mourning process was not a quick one for me but I continued to lean on the Lord and pray over and over for strength, peace and healing in my heart.  As I cared for Caroline and held her in my arms, I could feel God’s love and assurance.  Ever so slowly, my faith and my spirit were renewed.

Dear Lord, thank you for your presence in my heart and in my life, even when I feel broken and discouraged.  You are a God of life and restoration!  Amen.