Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
I know commencement means “beginning”, but often in my mind my first thought is “ending” – e.g. commencement exercises for graduating students. I wonder how many commencements we have in a lifetime?
I had my “retirement commencement” last fall. I ended thirty years of working for the same company where I knew what was expected and began ????? Oh, dear. See the dilemma? What does one do when retired?
I think there may be a limbo period at most commencements. I moved from a steady schedule to a never before experienced kind of freedom into which I fully expected to be able to accomplish about a thousand things I’d postponed until after I retired. My husband said I’d have to live to be 250 in order to accomplish all those things I planned for my first month of retirement.
My days have been filled – often to overflowing – but I’m hard pressed to see the accomplishments anticipated. Seems I’ll start one project only to be pulled in another direction. I’ve been restless and impatient to know exactly what I’m supposed to be doing and what my purpose is for the remaining years of my life here on earth. Yet, at the same time, I’ve had a calming tugging on my heart. It’s as though God is easing me into something bigger and better than I’ve ever known. It’s not clear what that “something” is, but I believe with His help, I’m going to become better at doing His will.
Easter time reminds me of the best commencement yet to come. I believe this greatest commencement will have no limbo period. I believe this commencement will be filled to overflowing with total blessed assurance – no questions asked, nor needed.
Here I am Lord. Is it I Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go Lord if you lead me. Lord, I believe. Help Thou my unbelief. Amen.
